Resilience is Recession-Proof

When I first told the story about how I came up with the idea for theNew2Do on a golf course, I obviously omitted a substantial amount of detail because I had not yet divulged what kind of website I am creating.  In actuality, the origins of theNew2Do date back to months before I ever played golf on that morning in May of 2009.  However, it was not until that day that the idea came to fruition as a concept for a website and a business.

The actual origins of theNew2Do date back to April 20, 2009.  The only reason I know the date is because it was the final lecture in my Business Law class at the Ross School.  The final was four days away, so this lecture was not mandatory, allowing us students to make the best of our time to prepare for the exam.  Having been about five chapters behind in my reading, I seriously contemplated using that time to play catch-up instead of attending lecture since the class time would largely be used for review and question asking, and given that I was so far behind, it likely would not benefit me at all.

However, I liked my Business Law professor, a man named Peter Shedd, and I didn’t think I would ever see him again because he was a guest professor in the Business School for the semester.  So, going against what I thought would be best for my GPA, I attended Peter’s final lecture to see what closing remarks he had for the class and to say thank you.

In my opinion, the minimum qualifications someone must have in order to be a good professor are that they care about their students and are passionate about the material they teach.  Peter went above and beyond these qualifications in a number of ways, which is a large part of why I attended lecture that day.

Strangely enough, the final 16 slides were not about business law at all.  Rather, they were about a book called, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszenthihaly (I have no idea how to pronounce that.).  Although Peter didn’t get into too much detail, he was trying to emphasize to the class that our lives should follow an ever-escalating learning curve, along which we should challenge ourselves to expand our skills, abilities, and knowledge.

I remember leaving the business school that day, thinking that this sounded like a pretty interesting book.  However, since I had a ton of studying to do, I put the thought aside for a while.

At some point at the end of May, once I was back at home scouring the internet for jobs, I remembered Flow for some reason.  I found a used copy on Amazon for 89 cents, and I must say that it was the best 89 cents I have ever spent on a single item.

The book, which you would find under psychology, was inspirational and eye-opening.  The title indicates that Flow is about finding the “optimal experience,” which is fancy way of saying improving your quality of life.  Csikszentmihalyi gets down to the heart of what makes us truly happy.

Drawing from an abundance of experiments and samples, he explains that when we are truly happy, we experience what he calls, “Flow.”  There are a number of criteria that one must meet to be considered experiencing “Flow.”  I have taken them from the Flow Wikipedia page and presented them below.

1. Clear goals (expectations and rules are discernible and goals are attainable and align appropriately with one’s skill set and abilities). Moreover, the challenge level and skill level should both be high.^[3]
2. Concentrating, a high degree of concentration on a limited field of attention (a person engaged in the activity will have the opportunity to focus and to delve deeply into it).
3. A loss of the feeling of self-consciousness, the merging of action and awareness.
4. Distorted sense of time, one’s subjective experience of time is altered.
5. Direct and immediate feedback (successes and failures in the course of the activity are apparent, so that behavior can be adjusted as needed).
6. Balance between ability level and challenge (the activity is neither too easy nor too difficult).
7. A sense of personal control over the situation or activity.
8. The activity is intrinsically rewarding, so there is an effortlessness of action.
9. People become absorbed in their activity, and focus of awareness is narrowed down to the activity itself, action awareness merging.

However, I would describe flow as that time when you are so caught up in what you are doing that you lose a sense of the world around you, and nothing else seems to matter except for that one activity.  You lose all concept of time, put all insecurities aside, and you become a part of what it is you are doing.  This extreme focus allows you to funnel all of your mental and physical energy into one thing, giving you skills and abilities that exceed anything you’ve ever experienced before.

I have often referred to this feeling as being in the zone, and I have experienced flow many times.  For example, while playing football in high school, I often became so engrossed in the game that I would forget about the crowd and my parents watching.  I would forget about all the homework and SAT studying that I had to do.  It felt as though there was nothing but that which was on that field, and it was under those conditions that I always played my best.  I wasn’t thinking about what I was doing, but rather just reacting to everything that was so quickly unfolding around me.  It was in these moments that I made my most amazing plays, catches that I would see on film and wonder how that happened because I certainly wasn’t as athletic as the guy on the television screen.  What happened was that I was in the zone, experiencing flow.

Another example is when I play guitar.  I am no Jimi Hendix by any stretch of the imagination.  I wouldn’t even describe myself as being very talented on the guitar.  However, there are times when I start playing, and I’ll lose myself in the music; that’s flow.  Maybe I’ll be strumming my own rhythm, or maybe I’ll be jamming along to a song I am playing on iTunes, but when I am in the zone, I almost feel like I am a part of the music, and every note comes to me so naturally.  When this is going on, I lose sight of everything around me, and sometimes I’ll pick my head up after a long jam session, and I’ll be stunned that I had been playing for a full hour when it felt like five minutes.

The argument that Csikszenthihalyi makes, which I agree with, is that the more flow experiences we have, the higher our quality of life will be.  Have you ever noticed that you find yourself happier after a basketball game where you have fully exerted yourself, rather than just standing around in a non-competitive game?  Or if you are into any form of art, have you ever noticed that you are happier after you have put all of your focus into one project, blocking out all distractions and really getting into what you are working on?  Have you ever noticed that even classes and work are more enjoyable when you are actively engaged with the material? And, wouldn’t you say that the work was actually enjoyable in many of those situations?  That is flow in action.

Furthermore, Flow says that it is in these situations where we fully exert our mental and physical capabilities that we learn and grow, making us more complex and interesting people, which in turn helps us lead more fulfilling and happier lives.

That brings us back to that day on the golf course.  My dad and I went through a number of different business ideas, going through our different skill sets and trying to figure out what we could do best.  We brainstormed from the tenth hole to the fourteenth hole without thinking of anything that seemed like it would work.

Then, on the fifteenth hole, with Flow in mind, I thought about how much time I waste on Facebook.  I think the social networking site is a great tool for staying in touch with friends and family and connecting with people I normally wouldn’t.  However, I feel like so many people waste a ton of time mindlessly going through Facebook.

At that point, I turned to my father and said, “If only there were a way to make social networking productive.”  I was thinking to myself: how can social networking help me to achieve flow experiences and make me a happier, more interesting person?  And, from that one comment erupted a profusion of ideas, most of which related to helping people find things to do with each other so that they can lead more fulfilling, interesting lives.

That is how theNew2Do came to be, but looking back on my life and who I am, I cannot think of anything else that I should be working on than theNew2Do.  Growing up, I was never satisfied staring at the television, and I felt like boredom was the norm.  I was always aching to find people to do things with, but when my friends were busy, I often conceded to the fact that I wouldn’t be doing anything that day, restlessly watching TV and running around my house.

Growing up, I was always the kid looking to do anything, whether it was playing a game of football or basketball, jamming on the guitar, or seeing a movie.  I love doing things with people, and I think that participating in activities with others is a great way to make friends.   In fact, I met my first friends at the University of Michigan playing football together on Palmer Field.  Some of these guys are my best friends today.

My inspiration for theNew2Do is three-fold.  First, I would like to give people a tool to help connect with each other in order to help find interesting things to do that will hopefully enable them to achieve as many flow experiences as possible, giving people the opportunity to live more enriching, fulfilling lives.  Second, this is my way of giving back to that restless little boy who would have killed for a website like theNew2Do his entire life.  Lastly, I remember how daunting those first days of college were- a new place with new people.  I want to give universities, such as my alma mater, a tool to help make that transition easier for incoming students, enabling them begin developing deep and long-lasting relationships.